"The Lasagna Truth About Me"

An awakening last night about me: I'm more into loving me than loving others! I'm missing it, missing the blessing, missing knowing God more because I fail to care more about the one in front of me than I care about myself. I want to change that. This is what happened and what I saw about me that is pretty much like this picture you see here...imagine lasagna on the face of a 59 year old woman- Ok. Yes, my very own face.

This is the story. Small group, I took the food, plenty of it, two lasagna dishes.
Had a whole lasagna left over, and some good cheesey texas bread. We were in the home of a family dealing with big hardships. So what do I do? I leave the bread with them and 1....yes ONE .... piece of lasagna...for their son's lunch the next day.

Why? I've got my reasons though not commendable ones. I take meals to the field...I like my life easy, very easy..... so this leftover lasagna--in abundance, will be a meal for the guys, and some left for the fridge for Richard to eat off of when I'm at work. So that is what I did.
Got home divided up that huge lasagna and found I had enough to feed the guys three times not one. I could have given the family enough for a meal and had plenty for my cause. But I didn't and now I'm seeing what I really am.... stingy. No other name, just stingy and it is my sin. And I know Richard will tire of lasagna or it will get freezer burned...unless I give it away!

This is conviction, not condemnation. Because you see, the Lord will give me another opportunity, many opportunities, to do it right.

Heidi Baker, when called to be a missionary to Mozanbique and feed many many orphans, said to the Lord, "I can't, there are so many, so many." But the Lord said to her, "Just love the one in front of you!"

This is my new banner...to love the one in front of me better, bigger and right. Having all that lasagna in my freezer last night did not feel as good as I supposed it would. To have left it with the family, with a quadraplegic son, stained carpet, stressed lives...would have felt a lot better.

"Lord forgive me, and thank you that you are changing me, opening my eyes to me... and giving me hope that I can do things as you would have me do. I want to soar with the response that will be birthed in my heart when I begin to be selfless and giving. Thanks for waking me up and showing me me. P.S. Do you have a wet washrag I could use?"

Blessings to all.