Good Girl or Smart Woman? Which Will It Be?

What is a "good girl"? It is a woman who won't cause ripples, she won't speak out because she fears she will make someone unhappy, or offend them. A "good girl" just flows and let's those little "just not right" things happen because she shouldn't stir things up or cause someone to be angry or flare back at her. After all, who is she to challenge them?? She is to NOT be "not nice." What do you think? Anything wrong with this picture?? Anything wimpy and cowardly here?

What is a "smart woman?" She is someone, when there is someone suggesting unrighteousness, or taking advantage of you, disrespecting you as a woman, disrespecting someone else, or many other scenarios, --- The smart woman does not fear that she might cause a ripple. She does not concern herself with offending the jerk who is doing something out of line. In fact, maybe he should be offended because he just suggested something very wrong. Let him be offended, she might say.

A good girl assumes the other person isn't really out of line, even though things don't feel exactly right. It's sorta like she isn't allowed to think anything negative against someone, or maybe an authority, so she just pauses. To me, I'd say she acts as brain dead or that someone stun-gunned her. Now I'll give this to the "good girl" --she may not even realize she is rationalizing this way...she just knows she was trained to be quiet and so she is. BUT, a "smart woman" speaks up, and doesn't hesitate. She knows when someone is out of line, and calls them on it. And she believes, without a doubt, that she has the right to say something to boot.

On a much larger scale we can see how this same thinking goes with both genders by looking at the German and, later, Rwanda holocausts. Germans and Rwandans, both were(are?) a people always taught to respect authority and obedience to authority. It is their culture, their very fiber to be like this. Therefore when Hitler came into power, and he started doing wrong things, they did not question him or his government.(Praise God, a remnant did question.) They were programed as a people to obey authority. The same with the Rwandan people who obeyed their government and killed millions of Tutsis that were once their friends and neighbors. Now, I believe in obeying authority, but only righteous authority. The Lord never meant us to obey unrighteous leaders, and unrighteous authority. We are to be a people that stand up for righteousness and stand against evil. We are never to obey evil. Never. And the Germans learned this the hard way, we should question authority.

Back to the "good girl" vs Smart woman. That "good girl", me for instance, cheers when a confident and strong woman speaks up. How about that? I don't do it, but when someone does do it, I am so overwhelmingly pleased that my spirit cheers her.

Lately, and for some time, the Lord is pointing out to me times I am that "good girl" when I should be the smart woman. That to be a leader, I need to be someone who can be assertive when it is called for. I wasn't raised to be assertive. So now, I'm learning to be.

For more understanding of this thinking, let's look at being a teen-aged girl. Some young girls, though it isn't their upbringing and it goes against their better conscience, will go with the flow of the society. For exampe, "not saving yourself for marriage" or other social issues--drinking, drugs, disrespect, etc. But then there are young girls who will not do that, they will not compromise their purity, and how dare any boy expect them to? They have a righteous indignation that is wonderful. They have self-respect. They know who they are and they will not be swayed any other way. They are secure, confident, and know they have a right to be. I love that. It is a virtue I never recognized when I was young, and maybe never saw it exercised until I was an adult.

Does this sound like I am encouraging women to be loud, obnoxious and in your face? I don't think so. I'm just saying that women, as well as men, have the right to speak out and up. And I mean to add it should be done in a godly, compassionate, careful way... (though sometimes there might be someone who does need blasted, when their offence is terribly abusive to either you or someone else. For sure, we better not stand by and be quiet in those situations.) But we do have the right, no matter our gender, to stand for righteousness. Maybe this is largely a woman issue...maybe it is my generation and previous generations that are more proned to this "be quiet and don't rock the boat" type of woman/girl...It is different today. I hope. No June Cleavers? But maybe more Joan of Arcs??? You tell me.

My good news is, God is changing me, and teaching me how to be a smart woman and in a godly way. (I was raised to be quiet.) I'm getting there and I thank God he is my teacher and mentor in this. In fact he just this week gave me an opportunity to impose rightness into a situation. But I was tempted strongly to be the "good girl" I've always been, so I wouldn't hurt someone's feelings. But you know, I handled it as a smart woman, and no one was offended. It was the right thing to do... and I did it with love. Now it is up to me to keep standing on that ground. Anyone relate to this?? Any "good girls" out there??